I was blind-sided the other day by two girls requesting help.  They just came up to me outside the Window of the World (Shi Jie Zhi Chuang) subway station and started talking.  Not being used to this, I stopped and answered in Chinese.  The conversation went something like this:

“Oh, you can speak Chinese?”
“Yes, a bit.”
“Can you please help us, we’ve just arrived from Anhui and don’t have any money. We’re hungry.”
<Getting suspicious, I start to fumble around with questions> “Oh, why did you come to Shenzhen?”
“We’re looking for work, can you help us buy some food, we’re really hungry.”
<I notice they don’t look particularly destitute>”Why did you come to Shenzhen without any money?”

At this point I don’t remember the exact answer but it sure did feel like classic Chinese obfuscation.  Some complex narrative about train schedules, family members,  and factories that didn’t make much sense, or I didn’t really understand.  I’m sure it was designed that way.

“So, can you please help us buy some food.”
<Thinking that maybe I can learn something, I make a counter-offer>”OK, let’s go somewhere together and get something to eat.”
<A bit of a confused look>  ”We don’t know any area to eat around here.”
“Oh, why did you come to this area then?”

I get more obfuscating answers.  The conversation is starting to remind me of the book, Mr. China.

“Can you help us; we’re very hungry.”
“What do you want to eat?”
<Eyes darting back to her partner> “Some bread would be fine.”
“Well, there are some places over here.  Let’s go.”

They reluctantly follow and mutter quickly to each other.

“What about this restaurant?”
“Too expensive.”
“OK, what about a convenience store?  There’s one over here.”
“OK.”

At the 7-11 (yes, they are quite common here)…

“Here is some bread.  Get something to drink.”

I end up buying some break, fish balls, and drinks for them (and some Menthos for myself).  Outside, I don’t recall getting a thank-you right away, but as I was about to walk off, the conversation continued:

“Can you help us out again please, we don’t have a place to stay tonight.”
“You don’t have a place to stay?”
“No, we don’t have a place to stay and we’re afraid to stay outside.”
“Why did you come here without a place to stay?”
<I don’t understand the answer entirely> “Our family will be here tomorrow and they can pay you back.  Give me your phone number.  Can you help us out tonight?”
“Where do you want to stay?”
“There’s a hotel over there.” <Vague pointing>
“How much is it?”
“Twenty-five RMB.” (less than $4)

Awkward pause while I think some more.

“Can you help us?  We’re afraid to stay outside.”
“No.  You should have asked me before.  You only asked for food and I gave it to you.  I don’t want to pay for a hotel now.”
<Contrite looks> “Sorry.  It’s no problem.”

They saunter off.

A couple of days later, another pair of girls approach me.  This time they grab my shirt and say, “We’re hungry.”  One of them looks familiar, not sure though.  I just pull my shirt away and keep walking.

So far, telling this story to various Chinese people yields a 100% opinion rating that this is grift.  Not surprising.  Too bad for the people who are legitimately in need.  Still though, why come to Shenzhen the day before your family shows up with no money and no place to stay.  Obviously, it doesn’t add up.  What do you think?

Visiting and Enjoying China – Crowds

Is China crowded?  Sometimes.  It’s not so crowded in my neighborhood around 7 in the morning.  In fact, it’s quiet and there is almost no traffic on the street.  Go to Hua Qiang Bei on the weekend around 2pm, however, and you may feel like you’ll suffocate from so many people.  There, the crowds dictate the flow of traffic more than the lights.

Here’s my crash course in managing crowds in China.

There’s a big difference in inadverdent touching attitudes between the US and China.  I still remember during my last visit to the US, slightly brushing against a woman in the grocery story.  I didn’t think much of it but recall hearing her say something to me.  “I’m sorry, what?”, I replied.  She dryly pointed out to me that she had touched me and was apologizing.  “Oh right”, I remember thinking.  I get touched and bumped and pushed frequently in China and I don’t take the time to stop and ponder it anymore.  Someone can smack me pretty hard across the shoulders and we both keep walking.  At first, it can make you feel…off balance, but, being aware of it and adapting can make it a non-issue.  So, remember this:  You will be touched and bumped incessantly.

The touching and bumping helps lead to the chaotic process of getting in line in China.  Well, there isn’t really such a thing as getting in line in China.  About the only time that I’ve noticed that lines matter is in customs, where there are officials watching you.  Oh yes, department stores are pretty good too.  Fast food places like the ubiquitous McDonalds and KFC are another matter.  Unless you’re right behind the person in front of you or are leaning on the counter and sometimes motioning for a cashier, you will be cut in front of.  I cut off a 12-year old girl the other day at KFC.  The cashier was even asking for my order when the girl pushed herself to the counter and thrust some coupons at the cashier.  For a moment, I almost lost out; I saw the cashier make eye contact with the girl.  So, I simply countered by continuing my order while turning my back and leaning in to the counter.  “Hey, I’m getting the hang of it”, I thought.

This sort of stuff happens all the time.  I was talking to a salesperson about some sheets I was about to buy when two other shoppers just waltz in and start barking questions at the salesperson.  Dang!  I feel sorry for the salespeople.  Sometimes it gets on my nerves too.  For example, though there are indicators about where to stand when entering and exiting the subway, nobody pays attention to it.  it’s quite common to be greeted by a hoard of people boarding the subway from every direction.  Sometimes it irritates me enough to where I don’t bother moving; I just walk straight out and bump people.  I know, bad attitude; haven’t done this in a while.

As for escalators, Hong Kong citizens are well-trained by the British to stand on the right, walk on the left.  This rule is unilaterally not observed in China.  In fact, every single day, I see two people blocking the entire escalator from people who are in a hurry.  Sometimes, I politely ask to pass by, but lately I’ve been just taking the stairs.  In China, escalators are basically for standing only.

Though I don’t have the courage to do this yet, I’ve seen plenty of native Chinese people who don’t want to lose their place order potential line-breakers to “wait in line!”

The key point to remember is that asserting yourself, legitimately, isn’t viewed as rude at all.  Sure, it’s one thing to force your way in front of a bunch of people; that’s bad.  But, if you’re the next in line and assert yourself in front of other people who want your spot, no one will think badly of you.  Well, I think so.  Maybe I should say that I’ve never seen anything bad come of this.  Reminds me of the traffic.  People just cut in and don’t bother slowing down or speeding up.  Yet, I rarely see road rage.

Visiting and Enjoying China – Restaurants

Hey, are you interesting in coming to China for a visit?  I thought it might be fun to write some posts on specific subjects for the would-be traveler.  This is especially relevant to those not coming on a tour or for visa, where you’ll get the opportunity to experience real China, outside the safe perimeter of the tour bus and English speaking guides, or, outside the safe walls of the luxurious hotel, company shuttle, and office for the business traveler.

Those who travel here using whatever method should feel privileged.  There is much to see in this huge and mysterious country.  But, do you want to experience ordering your own food and paying the bill, making your way through an undulating crowd to do some shopping, or try your skill at bargaining with local shopkeepers?  I’ll try to shed some light on these sorts of subjects.

My experience is mostly in Shenzhen, which has a reputation for being a hollow, soulless city because this teeming metropolis of somewhere between seven and eleven million people was no more than a common fishing village thirty years ago.  So, other than the numerous feet that have trod the soil, there is not much history.  But, calling it soulless is not fair.  There is a lot to see and experience here.  Save the ancient crumbling walls and pottery soldiers for your vacation.  Shenzhen is a great place to experience a certain style of daily life.

Eating Out

Folks in the US eat out a lot.  I usually wasn’t one of them; after tax and tip was added on, it was usually too pricey for my tastes so I usually saved it for special occasions or for times that I was especially in lazy.  In China, however, despite a much poorer population, eating out is common.  Obviously, prices are generally much lower. However, as soon as you westernize anything, the price begins to approach the US.  And, if you’re in a nice western style hotel, then you can count on the prices being way higher.

Eating out is more common than attending dinner parties here in China.  The reason is simple:  apartments tend to be quite small, so hosting a party is not so easy.  Many restaurants take this into account and provide private rooms of all sizes for parties.  It is often a raucous and fun event.  Be prepared to show your manliness by drinking alcohol too.  The good news if you’re not a big drinker, the cups are tiny compared to US standards, so though you may have thrown back 10 cups, it’s not such a large amount.

I’ll never forget the very first time that I sat down for a meal in China.  I was expecting it to be similar to a Chinese restaurant in the US.  Of course, there was virtually no resemblance.  About ten of us sat around a round table with a large lazy Susan in the middle.  I figured I would order “my meal”, but things don’t work that way.  Instead, someone, or a group of people, orders for the entire group and usually everything is shared.  An individual meal would be something like a bowl of noodles, but “dishes” are always shared.  I was also shocked, and you can be prepared now, that everyone dips into the food with their chopsticks.  To persnickety folks, this can seem unsanitary, but it’s best to jump in and enjoy.  When I noticed this, I simply shrugged my shoulders and thought, “When in Rome…”  I don’t think twice about it now.

Condiments like salt and pepper are basically non-existent and asking for them at a restaurant, especially a non-Western restaurant isn’t terribly polite.  You’re basically implying that the food hasn’t been cooked to the proper taste.  This looks especially odd from a foreigner – we wouldn’t know anyway, right?  And I’ve never seen something like “Soy Sauce” on the table.  I honestly don’t even know what soy sauce is; I hardly ever went to Chinese restaurants in the US (it was one of my least favorite cuisines…until I came to China).

When you sit down at a restaurant, you’ll be given a tea pot and tiny tea cups.  If you also receive a large bowl, often metal, this is for you to wash your utensils!  Even though your utensils are clean, it is quite common to follow this tradition.  Wait for the waitress to fill your cup, then swirl it around, dump it into your little rice bowl, wash your spoon by dipping it a few times, then drop your chopsticks into the bowl, using the spoon to rinse the chopsticks.  Then, dump the waste into the large bowl.  The waitress will then return and fill up your cups and take the large bowl away.  You can drink this new tea which comes from the exact same tea pot.  Popular teas are jasmine tea and chrysanthemum tea, both of which are delicious.  There is no sugar to add to your tea, and you shouldn’t anyway.

Many restaurants have pictures on the menus, so if you speak no Chinese, you can at least point.  If there are no pictures, you are basically out of luck if you’re not with a Chinese speaker (restaurant workers virtually never speak English).  I’m slowly building up my vocabulary of dishes, so I can order without a menu now, but it took a while.  Chinese menus are sometimes overwhelming with a huge variety of things to choose from.  Look very closely at the pictures.  Don’t make the mistake of ordering bugs thinking it’s mushrooms, or strips of pork when it’s really bull stomach.  I’ve made these mistakes before.  And, I’m not crazy about either dish.  If you’re in a group of at least four, you’ll have the luxury of ordering a wide variety of exotic foods and the final bill will still be quite modest.

Be wary of bones!  Chinese people love bones.  Well, they don’t love to eat them, but they believe that cooking with bones is very healthy and flavorful, so bones are almost never taken out.  This goes for chicken and fish too.  Chicken is rarely served in portions larger than strips about a half inch wide and it’s usually much more common to serve small “balls” of chicken.  The chicken is never boned.  It was basically chopped intact with a large butcher knife.  This takes a while to get used to.  Even now, because of this, I’m not a fan of chicken dishes.  I have gotten much more accustomed to eating fish, but it took a while.  Every little bone that was in the fish when it was caught is still in the fish now.  You can pick the fish with chopsticks a certain way so that a small portion of bones pull off, but this takes practice.  Best to watch others and learn.  In the mean time, instead of transferring the bite directly to your mouth, drop it in your rice bowl.  Here, you can pick out the bones with your chopsticks (yes, it can be quite laborious).  By the time it gets to your mouth, there are hopefully few bones. It is acceptable to spit the bones out, but I personally still don’t do this.  I’ve gotten pretty good ate pulling the bones out of my mouth with chopsticks.  Do what works best for you.  Don’t forget:  you can spit!  And, you may spit it directly onto the table!  More on the “food on the table” topic in a bit.

To get a waiter’s attention, it’s perfectly acceptable to raise your hand and motion to someone.  From my experience, the wait staff is always very attentive, friendly, and quick.  Although, I have been told that many of them have a curiosity or apprehension to foreigners that makes them notice you readily.  I’ve had waiters and waitresses stand very closely to me behaving as my personal waiters (also staring at me out of curiosity).  As soon as my tea drops below a certain limit, they immediately take action and fill up the cup.  Sometimes, the bill is kept on your table, and the wait staff marks items off as they bring dishes to you.  But, you will usually not be “brought the bill” until you specifically ask for it.  Some of the cheaper restaurants (particularly the city of Xi’an style ones) will ask you to pay before the food comes out.  When you do get the bill though, it’s very easy to understand.  There’s no tax or tips and everything is always in Yuan denominations.  So, no “cents”.

Table manners are a quite different in China.  The good news is that the US and Western system is generally much more complex.  Here are the top rules to follow in China.  Do this and you will be thought the polite and urbane chap:

• Do not pick up food that has fallen on the table.  Leave it.  This is “no man’s land” and after a long, large meal, the table will often have small pieces of food strewn about from chopstick slippage.  This is OK; it’s viewed, I think, as a sign of prosperity.
• Take the opportunity to fill up your partner’s tea from time to time.  I’ve heard that it’s polite to serve yourself first as well as last, and it seems like I’ve seen people serve others first more often.  So, apparently, you can’t really go wrong here.  Just take a few opportunities to fill the tea.  The same goes for beer.
• Each time you drink beer, make a small “cheers” motion and click your cup.  You’ll end up “mini-toasting” dozens of time per meal.
• Don’t eat the last piece of a dish.  Instead, offer it to someone else.  They’ll likely offer it to you.  You can make a deal, “OK, I’ll eat this, you eat that, OK?” or eventually, someone will relent and eat the food.  It’s a fun little game to play as the meal winds down.
• Touch the food with your fingers as little as possible.  For example, when the peanuts appetizer comes out at a Hunan restaurant, don’t dip into the little plate with your hands!  Instead, use your chopsticks (great practice).  You can wow people if you can pick up two at once.
• Of course, compliment the food, especially if you do happen to be at someone’s house.